My Failure and Reflection of 2017

Hello people, peace be upon you! So, this year been so much blessing for me. And the most blessed is finally I’ve got my graduation day a month ago. Well, it was pretty amusing for the whole year, yet I don’t think I should thank myself the more for all the struggling. Why?

Because the one that deserve the most of my 2017 year is people surrounded me. And me, is the one that learn a lot of things. 2017 is totally mean. I mean, yes it is. The song sung by Taylor Swift, it’s surely all about it. Dealing with 2017 that more humiliated me in the first place.

I cannot blame anybody because the only problem is me obviously, I think 2017 is crueler that I’ve ever imagine before. Shortly, I got depressed in many aspects of life. Study, organizations, loves and family and more. The only problem is that I am not satisfied this whole year haha kidding. However, this is the coolest because it gained too much power for me myself that I could be stronger than I was before.

“Everyone has a wild side, even a legend” familiar sounds from a Chaplin Movie, huh? Yeah it’s true. Everything has ups and downs, and me is one of the billion people that struggling in downs thing and finally figuring out that the hardest thing to deal with is ourselves, our own-selves.So, at least I have several things that miss out from my expectation. This also cost my energy and more like put me in anxiety.

First. I planned to be graduated in May 2017. Unfortunately, I sacrificed my time scripting my final research to do volunteering.

Second. I once been confronted by 8 strangers, for unorganized project and because of that, the organization that I was in before, been banned for unspecific time which I did not know. I knew that time I could barely kill myself but, I am not that stupid because what they said about me, making me 100% stronger. But still the environment would probably bully me many times we talked about it. And that’s why I hated reunite in the first place, but growing up makes me perceive that even better. So, it just a peace of cake. Thank you strangers!

Third. I hated myself for having and sitting with a team individuals that is stubborn. OMG, I could not honestly be okay with someone like that. Full of distressing how to deal with it. I knew that I had to fit in, but well I am human-being I have human nature feeling of disliking things so, yeah I would never gonna have anything ups over again with her. Oops!

Fourth. I ruined my relationship with my previous friend in other organization because of too busy to arrange other things. I regret about not having many times to catch up with my girls and sharing a lot. And sadly, I lost my chance to read and listen more about my dien in that time. I was just too obsessed about “a succeed girl with multi-talent and multitasking world” which is all nonsense.

Fifth. I am very disappointed myself, taking too fast to act crazy making decision without deep consideration. And that’s it all I can tell.

Only my point here is, you gotta say that it’s true when you really experienced it all. 2017 for me is one of my best part of my life I should be thankful how lucky I was that God giving me such a moments which I can take a lesson from it and push me harder to be the best of me. I am proud I am here still right now breathing perfectly means that I know I have to be use of other people. Instead of drain too much energy for something that way exhausting, good deeds is waiting for me to land a hand.

Most of all, I knew I made mistake really big and that was such a big deal for other people not to care, I am sorry for taking it for granted. I do love people made me stronger, and I love the most people that always never tired keeping it real the love that they have by being around with me when I was fallen down, and you guys are right there to sweep my tears. That means a lot to me.

I am not ready to say good bye to you Mr. 2017

Love deeply…

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